POINT BY POINT SUMMARY
Prepared by Rabbi P. Feldman
of Kollel Iyun Hadaf, Yerushalayim
Rosh Kollel: Rabbi Mordecai Kornfeld
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Previous daf Kidushin 31
KIDUSHIN 31 (16 Sivan) - dedicated l'Zecher Nishmas Reb Avrohom ben
Reb Shmuel Teichman by his son Mr. Sidney Teichman, by Mrs.
Leah Teichman, by Mrs. Tzipora Lieber, by Mrs. Amy Kornfeld
and by Mr. Berish Teichman.
1) HONOR OF PARENTS AND HASH-M
(a) (Beraisa): When a man pains his parents, Hash-m is happy
that He did not dwell among them, for if He had, they
would have pained Him.
(b) (R. Yitzchak): Anyone that transgresses in private, it is
as if he pushes aside the Divine Presence - "Hash-m says,
the Heavens are My throne, the earth is My footstool".
(c) (R. Yehoshua ben Levi): It is forbidden to walk erect -
"(Hash-m's) honor fills the entire land."
1. Rav Huna brei d'Rav Yehoshua would not walk 4 Amos
with his head uncovered, because the Divine Presence
(d) Question (An orphan): If both my father and mother ask me
to bring them water, which request should I honor first?
(e) Answer (R. Eliezer): Your father's because you and your
mother are commanded to honor your father.
1. The orphan came before R. Yehoshua and receives the
(f) Question (The orphan): What if she is divorced?
(g) Answer (R. Yehoshua): Put the water in front of them
(neither has precedence).
(h) (Ula Rabah): "All kings will admit to You, because they
heard the sayings of Your mouth" - when the Nochrim heard
about "I am Hash-m...you will not have other gods in
front of Me", they thought that Hash-m was seeking His
1. When they heard about the Mitzvah to honor parents,
they admitted that also the first utterances should
(i) Question (Rava): "The beginning of Your words are truth"
- but not the end?!
(j) Answer (Rava): Rather, from the end of your words ("Honor
your father and mother"), it is recognized that the
beginning of your words ("I am Hash-m...you will not
have....)" are just.
(k) Question: How far does the Mitzvah of honoring parents
(l) Answer #1 (Rav Ula): We can learn from a Nochri, Dama ben
Nesinah. Once Chachamim wanted to do business with him;
he stood to profit 600,000 gold Dinars - he could not
make the deal without waking his father, so he lost the
(m) Answer #2 (R. Eliezer): We can learn from a Nochri, Dama
ben Nesinah. Once Chachamim wanted to buy a stone from
him for the Ephod; he stood to gain 600,000 gold Dinars.
He could not get the stone without waking his father, so
he lost the deal.
1. The next year, Hash-m gave him his reward: a red
heifer was born in his herd.
(n) (Rav Dimi): Once, Dama ben Nesinah was wearing silk woven
with gold, and was seated among the Roman officials. His
mother came, tore his garment, hit him on the head and
spit before him - he did not embarrass her.
2. Dama (to Chachamim): I know you would pay all the
money in the world for this - all I ask is the
600,000 Dinars I lost to honor my father.
3. (R. Chanina): Someone that is not commanded to honor
his father received such a reward - all the more so,
someone who is commanded!
i. (R. Chanina): One who is commanded and fulfills
is greater than one who is not commanded and
4. (Rav Yosef): At first, I was hoping that the law is
as R. Yehudah, that a blind person is exempt from
Mitzvos, for then I would be doing more than was
required of me;
5. Now that I heard R. Chanina's teaching, I hope that
the law is not as R. Yehudah!
(o) (Avimi brei d'R. Avahu): A man can feed his father choice
fowl and be punished for this (if he shows his reluctance
to do so);
1. A man can make his father grind on a mill, and (if
the son shows that he is sorry his father must do
this, but it must be done) through this merit the
world to come.
2) HOW CHACHAMIM HONORED THEIR PARENTS
(a) (R. Avahu): My son Avimi is a paradigm of how to honor
3) HONORING PARENTS THROUGH SPEECH
1. Avimi had 5 children, yet when R. Avahu called,
Avimi would run to open the door for him before his
children; as he ran, he would call to his father to
say that he is coming.
(b) Question (Rav Yakov bar Avuha): When I return from
learning, my parents give me to drink - what should I do?
2. One day, R. Avahu asked for a drink; he fell asleep
before Avimi brought it. Avimi waited by him until
i. While he waited, he thought of a wondrous
exposition of "A song of Asaf".
(c) Answer (Abaye): Accept from your mother, but not from
1. Since your father is a Chacham, it hurts his
feelings to serve you.
(d) R. Tarfon would bend down for his mother to step on him
when climbing into or out of her bed.
1. Rabanan: That is not half as much as is required;
(e) When Rav Yosef would hear his mother's footsteps, he
would say 'I will rise before the Divine Presence that is
i. If she would throw your wallet in the sea, and
you would not embarrass her, that is the
(f) (R. Yochanan): One who was orphaned from birth is
fortunate (it is hard to honor parents properly, and one
is punished for this).
1. R. Yochanan's father died before R. Yochanan was
born, his mother died shortly after his birth; the
same is true of Abaye.
(g) Rav Asi's mother requested ornaments; Rav Asi made
ornaments for her.
2. Objection: But Abaye often said things that his
mother told him!
3. Answer: He referred to the woman that raised him.
1. His mother: I want you to find a man as beautiful as
yourself for me to marry!
2. Rav Asi fled to Eretz Yisrael. He heard that she was
coming after him.
3. Rav Asi: Am I permitted to go to Chutz La'aretz?
4. R. Yochanan: No.
5. Rav Asi: May I go to Chutz La'aretz to greet my
6. R. Yochanan: I don't know; wait.
7. R. Yochanan saw that Rav Asi came to ask again. 'I
see you want to go - Hash-m should return you
8. Rav Asi (to R. Elazar): I hope R. Yochanan was not
angry at me!
9. R. Elazar: Since he blessed you, we see he was not
10. Before Rav Asi reached his mother, she died, and she
was being brought to Eretz Yisrael for burial.
11. Rav Asi: Had I known, I would not have left Eretz
(a) (Beraisa): One must honor parents in their life and after
1. In their life - one should not ask for preferential
treatment on account of his own importance, rather
on account of his father.
(b) (Beraisa): A Chacham citing his father or Rebbi should
not say their actual names; the one broadcasting the
lesson says the actual names.
2. After death - when citing a teaching of his father,
he says 'My father, my teacher, I should be an
atonement for him'.
i. This only applies within 12 months after death;
after that, he says 'He should be blessed with
life in the world to come'.
(c) Question: Whose names does he say?
1. Suggestion: If this means, the names of his own
father or Rebbi - but the broadcaster must also
honor his father and Rebbi!
(d) Answer (Rava): The names of the Chacham's father and
1. When Mar bar Rav Ashi would teach, he would say 'My
father, my teacher'; the broadcaster would say 'Rav