The Torah commands us to conduct our business affairs with honesty. This is a negative precept, as it is written " When you make a sale to your fellow-man or make a purchase from the hand of your fellow-man, do not aggrieve one another (Vayikra 25:14)." This restriction applies equally to both seller and buyer and is known as ona'as mammon (monetary deceit). This restriction is repeated a few verses later: "A man should not aggrieve his fellow-man, and you shall fear G-d; I am Hashem your G-d(Passuk 17)." The Sages explain that this second proscription prohibits ona'as devarim, aggrieving another verbally. We may not cause a fellow Jew anguish and pain with words by insulting, embarrassing or deceiving him. The Mishna and Gemara cite a few examples of ona'as devarim: One should not ask a shopkeeper 'How much is this item?' if he has no intention of buying it. Nor should one remind a ba'al teshuva (returnee) or a ger (convert) of their past deeds. And one should not tell another inflicted with suffering that he is being punished for his sins (Bava Metzia 58b).

Ona'as devarim is not limited to harming another verbally. We can insult or deceive another without even uttering a word. If one eyes merchandise, one gives the seller the impression that he is interested in purchasing it when he may have no intention of doing so. The seller's hopes for a sale are deflated and he experiences needless anguish when the individual walks away. One can insult his fellow Jew by his facial expression, a dirty look or through motioning with his hands and fingers. (Even staring at others can make one feel uncomfortable. It is halachically forbidden to stare at another while he is eating, Orach Chaim 170:4.) Laughing at a fellow Jew is another source of shame and embarrassment.

One who hurts a fellow Jew through ona'as devarim is not only displaying middos ra'os, bad character traits, but as we have seen above, also transgresses one of the 365 negative commandments of the Torah. His actions are comparable to violating one of the laws of Yom Tov or eating chazir, pig. This is true of both verbal and silent ona'ah (see Yereim 180 with So'afos Re'eim).

The necessity for a Biblical restriction against harming others verbally is easily understood. Nevertheless, why did the Torah include ona'as devarim in the passage of ona'as mammon, monetary fraud, even using the same term, ona'ah, to describe both of them? The Netziv suggests that when transacting a business deal, one is likely to become frustrated and is more prone to insult the other party involved in the transaction. Therefore the Torah warns him not to insult his fellow Jew even then. The restriction, though, is binding in all situations. Thus our explanation must go further than this.

Most people respect the property of others. They would find the very thought of stealing a fellow Jew's property repulsive. Nevertheless they would not regard insulting another Jew as being a transgression of the same severity. The Torah therefore compares insulting another to cheating. Ona'as devarim is also a form of thievery; one is robbing his victim of his dignity. The Gemara comments that ona'as devarim is actually more severe than ona'as mammon. The Torah concludes the admonition of ona'as devarim with the words "I am Hashem your G-d." The Torah however, omits this phrase from the restriction against monetary fraud. Additionally, in the case of monetary fraud, the victim loses only his money. When one insults his fellow, he hurts him personally. Furthermore, Money can always be returned but emotional scars caused by cruel words are not so easily healed.

Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch offers another comparison between ona'as devarim and ona'as mammon. He writes that ona'ah is the misuse of some weakness in one's fellow man to his disadvantage. In commerce, one commits ona'ah by taking advantage of another person's ignorance and lack of business acumen to cheat him. Ona'as devarim refers to taking advantage of another's vulnerability, by hurting him. More so, this attitude of looking at other people's weaknesses, is the actual cause of ona'ah. A gullible customer is seen as an opportunity to make easy money. Regarding ona'as devarim, one focusses on the other's weaknesses and sees himself as superior to his intended victim. Thus, he feels he has license to ridicule and embarrass him. Therefore the Torah warns, 'lo sonu ish es amiso' - do not aggrieve your fellow man. 'Amiso' means with you - we must view each other as equals. The passuk concludes - 'and I am Hashem your G-d.' We were all created in His image and are considered His beloved children. One's station in life or one's background is of no consequence. If a person is currently a G-d fearing Jew, we must treat him with dignity and respect (see Alshich). Perhaps this is why the Torah inserted this proscription in the passage of Shemitta and Yovel. During Shemitta, one leaves his field ownerless; anyone can come and partake from the produce of the land. There is no distinction between landowner and pauper, all are equal during that year. We must remember this lesson even after the Shemitta year ends and we regain control over our fields. We should see all Jews in the same light that we view ourselves. This attitude shall be applied to all other class distinctions; regardless of one's family or personal history and whether or not one was blessed with good health and good fortune, we are all Hashem's precious children.

The Chovos Levavos writes: a Sage was once asked, "How did you merit to be the leader of your generation?" He answered: "I have never met anyone that I did not regard to be on a higher level than myself. If he was wiser than I, I assumed that he was also more G-d fearing. If I met one who was less wise, I considered that on the day of Judgement, he will be held less accountable than I - for my sins were committed intentionally, while his were committed in error. If I met an older individual, I presumed that he has more merits than I since he was born before me. And if he was younger, I reasoned that his sins were fewer than mine. If the man was richer than I, I assumed that he had more opportunities to serve Hashem because of his wealth. And if he was poorer, I would consider him to be contrite and of a humbler spirit due to his poverty. Therefore I honoured all men and humbled myself before them (Shaar Hakenia ch. 10)."

The Gemara (Kesuvos 111b) states: "When one shows his teeth (in a smile) to his fellow man, it is better than giving him milk to drink." Rabbi Avidgor Miller zt'l elaborates: How highly we would consider a man who gave drinks of milk to passers-by everyday. What a benefactor of mankind! A drink of milk provides essential nourishment and becomes part of all that the recipient does thereafter. Yet, this man does less than one who smiles at his fellow man. The smile enters the mind and heart and stimulates all the glands to produce their secretions in the most beneficial proportion. Every one of the thousands of intricate processes of physical function is optimally motivated (Sing You Righteous p.294)."

Instead of seeing the faults of others, let us focus on their good qualities. Instead of causing pain and anguish with our speech, let us use words of encouragement and cheer. And instead of using body language to make others uncomfortable, let us focus our hand motions and facial expressions to bring happiness to others.

Daf Hashavua Kollel Beth HaTalmud Copyright (c) 2002 by Rabbi Yosef Levinson

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