In it, the lover refers to his beloved by seven terms. By studying these terms, we will see, in the aggregate, how the Torah describes a complete love relationship. Each term refers to a component of a complete marriage relationship. The seven terms are:

1. kalosi - my bride
2. achosi - my sister
3. rayosi - my friend
4. yonosi - my dove
5. tomosi - my perfection
6. yafosi - my beauty
7. dodi - my beloved.

"My bride" clearly connotes the romantic, physical and male-female "role" aspects that are basic to marriage.

"My sister" connotes a close, deep familial bond that is free from the confusion that may arise out of the emotions of the romantic level. The bond is that of your flesh and blood. It provides the unconditional, non-physical and constant element of love-relationship that a romantic-only relationship lacks, which the family relationship has.

By the way, I have heard it asked, "Isn't there a parent-child element in a marriage?" Yes, in the specific sense of a healthy spouse treating another healthy spouse caringly and protectively. A parent cares for and protects. I have found no source in the Torah that indicates any parent-child component in terms of seeking emotional needs. This tells me, based on both my psychological and Torah knowledge, that if someone seeks or enters into a marriage to obtain a parent-child relationship, it is probably an unhealthy and immature seeking of something that a parent didn't fulfill. There is no source that substantiates that parent-child psychological needs are at all a genuine or legitimate component of a marriage relationship. To borrow from the language of chapter one, a spouse is to be a parent in terms of what one is to give, and not in terms of what one is to take.

A brother-sister relationship, as PEERS from the same generation, is very important, healthy and legitimate. Rambam actually requires it in his codifying of the laws of marriage.

"My friend" (my "rayo") is interesting because there are other words in Hebrew (chaver, ohaiv) that can mean what the English speaker calls "friend." Let's look at why this word, in particular, is used.

The root word "rayo" contains the letters raish, ayin and yod. Because of a nuance in Hebrew grammar, you could write the yod in either the second or third position (in the conjugation used in "rayosi") and be correct (you would pronounce it the same way, too). For the sake of clarity, let's say we have two approaches:

1. raish - ayin - yod,
2. raish - yod - ayin.

Either way, you have the word containing raish and ayin, which is the word, "ra," the Hebrew word for "evil," to which you add yod, the initial of the name of G-d which indicates His attributes of mercy, compassion, intimate and detailed providence, timelessness and patient forbearance. If you say the yod comes after the raish and ayin, then the message is that the yod attaches to ra (any evil that may ever befall the friendship) and counteracts the evil with G-dly attributes. Rayosi is a friendship capable of overcoming any evil that befalls it.

I believe the message to be even stronger when we say that the yod is placed between the raish and the ayin. They never let the raish and ayin of "ra" to come together, so there NEVER IS evil in the relationship between them. These don't "merely" overcome evil. They NEVER HAVE EVIL. This would mean to say that, by practicing G-dly attributes, these friends attain to such a high level of relationship that they keep evil from ever happening. In other words, rayo is such a high quality friendship, that G-dly traits always reign, and evil is unheard of in their relationship. Let's proceed on the basis of the second, stronger approach.

The word rayo (friend) is composed of ra (evil) PLUS the yod from G-d's name. It is significant that it is the name whose meanings include:

1. eternity, constancy, timelessness
2. the exalted characteristics of G-d (mercy, compassion, generosity, patience, kindness, forgiving, forbearance, refraining from anger or punishment when He can find redeeming virtue)
3. individual, close, intimate and detailed providence.

The yod signifies the G-dly name with the attributes cited immediately above. In other words, friends who put these G-dly qualities into their relationship never let ra (evil) happen. They are such good friends that ra can never happen because they put the G-dly qualities of the yod between the raish and the ayin, which can never come together to make "ra." These friends maintain standards of behavior and devotion by

1. eternally, unvaryingly and timelessly maintaining
2. G-dly traits (compassion, forebearing, kindness, mercy, patience, etc.)
3. and dealing with the other as an individual, with in-detail and intimately close attentiveness to the feelings, needs, dignity, preferences, perceptions, priorities, goals, personality and situation of the other. By keeping these items (as signified by the yod from G-d's name) as practical, ongoing and non-negotiable axioms of the relationship, the friends keep the yod between the raish and the ayin, so that evil may never come to their relationship. Evil is unknown to "rayosi-catagory-friends."

The numerical equivalent of the letters in the word ahava (love) is 13. The numerical equivalent in the name of G-d (which means the timelessness, compassionate attributes and in-detail intimate relating, referred to just above) is 26. When husband and wife love eachother the G-dly way, that is 13 + 13 = 26; they are being married the way G-d IS and the way G-d WANTS. Significantly, when a couple is married, the ceremony text refers to them as "rayim ahuvim, (loving friends, i.e [conjugations of] the words "rayo" together "ahava)." This friendship of marriage is characterized by G-dliness and love for eachother.