You want to know, "What, in one word, is the essence of the man-woman relationship? What is the foundation for 'doing marriage right?'"

You'll be glad to know that Jewry has access to something quite akin to this. We shall look to THE MAHARAL OF PRAGUE.

Rabbi Yehuda Lowe, best known as the "Maharal," and best known for the "golem" (the clay-man which the Maharal animated with mystical power) which he built to protect the Jews of Prague from brutal blood libel persecutions in the 1500's, stands as one of the greatest geniuses in Torah history. Just about everything he taught and wrote evokes universal marvel and awe. Think about it. Whom do you know, besides G-d Himself, who can bring clay to life? In one of his books, Nesivos Olam, he essentially answers the question, "What, in a word, is the essence of the man-woman relationship?"

His starting point is studying the significance of:

1. the adjacency of two incomprehensibly cryptic back-to-back statements in the Talmud [Taanis 8a] and

2. their relationship to a midrash (which is alluded to in the second of the two cryptic Talmudic statements).

After citing these, he strings them together and develops the material brilliantly, and establishes the "punchline" as being the one bottom-line essence of marriage. He "really goes to town."

Let's have a peek. Get ready to have your eyebrows raised. What follows is my free translation/digest of the essay by the Maharal.

The attribute of "faith" is spoken of in tractate Taanis.

"Rabbi Ami said, 'Rains do not fall except because of the people who have faith in G-d, as is written, "Truth will sprout from the earth and righteousness will look down from Heaven (Psalms 85:12)."' Rabbi Ami also said, 'Come and see how great are the people of faith. From where will we see? From the weasel and the well. Whereas one can have faith in the weasel and the well, how much moreso must one have faith in G-d!'"

What this means is that those of faith [i.e. who are trustworthy, so that you may have faith in them] do not change. Heaven is the source of moisture. Rain is in the power of Heaven and Heaven never changes because it is for the provision of moisture and rain that G-d created the Heavens. Therefore, we learn that one may have faith in Heaven for that which It was created [to provide]; and that there is an unchanging, unending relationship between a Provider who is faithful to provide and those who are to have faith in that provision, since the Provider is never-changing. If ever one party changes, violating the relationship of one having faith and the other being a dependable and faithful provider, this destroys the relationship, causing commensurate change in the second party.

The verse in Psalms, brought as a proof-text, demonstrates that this matrix stands on the principle of "faith," because Heaven provides moisture and the earth receives it - creating the model for 1. the provider and 2. the receiver. The earth can have faith (there will be "sprouting") and Heaven will be righteous (to reliably send down the necessary sustenance). Through this, a non-changing relationship of mutual roles and of faith is established which joins together, into a relationship, those on earth with Heaven. The verse says, "Truth will sprout from the earth," to indicate that the earth can have faith that Heaven provides the moisture that the earth needs to receive.

In order for the faith relationship between Heaven and earth to operate, there must be the same never-changing faith relationship between each person here on earth and the next person here on earth. Then, this will be reflected in Heaven participating in its faith-relationship as Provider to earth. There is no greater model of faith than this relationship between Heaven and earth and this is the SAME as the RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN, in the nature of which the man is a provider, and the woman is receiver, like the Heavens provide and the earth receives. If the relationship is violated, this is elimination of the faith which is its foundation.

When both a husband and a wife are faithful, there is no greater relationship. When each is faithful, without end and without change, to all the obligations of the relationship, each may have faith in the other at all times.

This is the meaning when the Talmud states that WE LEARN FAITH FROM THE WEASEL AND THE WELL and that there is no greater case from which to learn about faith.

[We could graphically chart the parallel elements of the Maharal's exposition: