Hilchos B'rachos part XXXI
Hilchos
Zimun Part III
The laws and customs of bentching with wine – Siman 182-183
When should one bentch with
wine or grape juice?
We find various opinions amongst the Rishonim as to whether
one should bentch with a כוס.
Tosefos learns that whenever one bentches, one must
bentch with a כוס and recite
בורא פרי הגפן at the end
of bentching. According to this opinion, if two people dined together, each must
have his own כוס, just as each person bentches
on his own. If three people dined together, one person can recite Birkas
Hamazon and be מוציא the other two diners
and one כוס will suffice.
Midrash Ruth cites that one is required to bentch with
a כוס when three dine together. A single diner
is not required to bentch with a כוס.
The Rif and Rambam learn that even three
are not obligated to bentch with a כוס.
The
Vilna Gaon writes
that
all opinions agree that if one has wine (or grape juice) in one’s home than one
should bentch with a כוס.
How does the Shulchan Aruch pasken?
The Shulchen Aruch
cites these three opinions and does not direct us to a p’sak. The Bach
and Maharshal rule that one is obligated to bentch with a
כוס but the custom is to follow the third
opinion and not bentch with a כוס.
The Rama writes
that
nevertheless (even though one is not obligated to bentch with a
כוס), it is a מצוה מן
המובחר
to do
so. Consequently the Mishna Berura writes that when one has wine or grape
juice, it is a מצוה מן המובחר to do so when
three people or more dine together.
Rav Benzion Abba Shaul ztz”l
also
writes that one should try to bentch with a כוס
when three adults dine together.
It
seems that most people do not bentch with a כוס
during the week, only on Shabbos.
When should everyone refrain from speaking?
The person reciting the
zimun should not talk once handed the cup of wine to say zimun. The
other diners must not speak once the mezamein begins zimun until
he drinks from the כוס, unlike those who talk
once they have concluded their own Birkas Hamazon.
There
are opinions that learn that the other diners follow the example of the
mezamein, and from the point he may not speak, they may not either. The
Mishna Berura writes that it is right to follow that opi;nion.
Who drinks from the
כוס?
Obviously the mezamein
drinks, and he drinks first.
He
then passes the wine to his wife to drink, because a wife is blessed from her
husband’s כוס של ברכה. It is a
מצוה מן המובחר for all diners to sip from the
כוס.
When is it a mitzvah for other diners to drink
from a כוס?
The Shulchan Aruch writes
with
regards to drinking wine Friday night that it is a
מצוה מן המובחר for all participants to sip from the
כוס קידוש. We see that the Mishna Berura
wrote that all diners should also sip from the כוס,
which would seemingly apply to the כוס of
Sheva Berachos as well, and yet many refrain from doing so. Is there a
source for that?
Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach ztz”l points out
that
the Shulchan Aruch rules
that
after one drinks from a cup one should not hand it to someone else to drink
from, lest that person would rather avoid drinking from someone else’s cup.
Because he is handed the cup he is embarrassed to decline even though we see
that it is a mitzvah to drink after the mekadeish or mezamein. He
says that perhaps this is the halachic source why people, other than family, do
not usually drink from the כוס.
For Kiddushah Rabah (the Shabbos day Kiddush), it is known
that the Brisker Rav was meticulous that people sip from the
כוס
and
yet most people do not have that custom.
How much of the כוס
should the mezamein drink?
Halachically it is sufficient to drink the majority of a Revi’is
but
then one encounters the problem of a b’racha ahcharona, because there are
opinions that hold that one recites al hagefen after drinking a
k’zayis, so the Shulchan Aruch says
that
one should imbibe the entire revi’is and subsequently recite al
hagefen.