Introduction:
Before we learn a new
teaching about “motherly”
outreach at the Seder, we
need to review the following
basic teachings from Part 2
of this miniseries:
It is a mitzvah to tell
about the Exodus from Egypt
on the night of the Seder –
the night which is the
beginning of the 15th day of
Nissan. A source for this
mitzvah is found in the
following verse:
“And you shall tell your son
on that day saying, ‘It is
because of this that Hashem
did so for me when I went
out of Egypt.’ ” (Exodus
13:8)
“And you shall tell your
son” – The Sefer HaChinuch,
a classical work on the
Torah’s mitzvos, writes:
“As to Scripture’s
expression, ‘your son,’ it
does not mean necessarily
one’s son, as it can mean
any person” (Mitzvah 21).
.
One can therefore fulfill
this mitzvah by telling
one’s son, one’s daughter,
or any person about the
Exodus from Egypt.
Maimonides, in his Book of
Mitzvos, explains that if
one is alone on this night,
one has a mitzvah to tell
about the Exodus from Egypt
to one’s self (Mitzvah 157).
There is a passage in the
Haggadah which discusses the
four types of “sons” that we
are to address during the
Seder, and the term “sons”
in this passage is a generic
term which includes sons and
daughters. The Haggadah
begins the discussion by
stating:
“Concerning four sons does
the Torah speak: a wise one,
a wicked one, a simple one,
and one who does not know
how to ask.”
The messages of the Haggadah
to each of the “four sons”
have the following common
goal: to help them to
develop their own spiritual
potential through serving
the Divine purpose for all
creation. Each response is
appropriate for the
personality of each of them.
As the wise King Solomon
wrote:
“Educate the youth according
to his way” (Proverbs
22:6).
Dear Friends,
This letter will discuss how
we are to relate to the son
who does not know how to
ask. Regarding this
individual, the Haggadah
states:
“As for the son that does
not know how to ask, you
open the conversation for
him.”
In Hebrew, pronouns have
both a masculine and
feminine form. For example,
the masculine term for “you”
is ata, and the
feminine term for “you” is
at. There are
previous statements in the
passages about the other
sons where the speaker is
addressed as, ata –
the masculine form. In the
above statement about the
one who does not know how to
ask, the speaker is
addressed as at –
the feminine form. What is
the significance of this
change?
According to one
explanation, this teaches us
that the one who does not
know how to ask needs to be
addressed in a “motherly”
and loving manner. I
recently found a similar
explanation in a commentary
on the Haggadah by Rav Dovid
Feinstein, a leading Torah
scholar in North America.
Regarding the one who does
not know how to ask, Rav
Feinstein writes:
“The Haggadah uses the
feminine form of the word
you in telling us
how to treat this son with
motherly kindness and
patience.” (Anah Dodi
Haggadah – ArtScroll)
Why does the Haggadah
recommend this “motherly”
approach for the son who
does not know how to ask?
This son is not like the
wicked son, who receives a
sharp reply which serves as
a wake-up call. The wicked
son needs this wake-up call,
for as we learned in the
previous letter, he
willfully rejects the
following raison d’etre of
our people: We are to serve
the altruistic Divine
purpose for all creation
through fulfilling the
mitzvos of the Torah.
The one who does not know
how to ask is like the wise
son and the simple son who
understand that our purpose
is to serve the Divine
purpose and who therefore
request information. The
previous letter described
how the wise son asks in a
sophisticated way. The
simple son expresses his
question in a simple way,
and he asks, “What is this?”
The son who does not know
how to ask, however, lacks
the ability to express
himself clearly; thus, he is
afraid to speak up. In
addition, his inability to
express himself clearly may
have caused him
embarrassment in the past
and may have even evoked
ridicule; thus, he is very
sensitive about his
situation. We must therefore
initiate the conversation
with him in a motherly and
loving manner, so that he
will feel included at the
Seder.
How are we to initiate the
conversation with the one
who does not know how to
ask? Rav Dovid Feinstein
finds an allusion to an
answer to this question in
the following verse which
the Haggadah applies to the
one who does not know how to
ask:
“You shall tell your son on
that day: ‘It is because of
this that Hashem did so for
me when I went out of
Egypt.” (Exodus 13:8)
“You shall tell” – Rav
Feinstein points out that
the Hebrew term for “you
shall tell” (higad’ta)
is related to the Hebrew
term for stories and
narratives (agad’ta).
The verse is therefore
indicating that we are to
tell this son inspiring
stories that will capture
his interest and arouse his
love for Hashem.
The “four sons” mentioned in
the Haggadah can also be
understood as four
personality traits within
each of us. As we learned in
the previous letter, this is
the interpretation of Rav
Yehudah Leib Chasman, and he
says. “One moment we are the
wise one, the next moment
the wicked one; one instant
we are the simple one, the
next instant we are unable
to ask.” According to this
interpretation, there are
occasions when we are like
the one who does not know
how to ask; thus, we too,
need to hear inspiring
stories that can capture our
interest and arouse our love
for the Redeeming One.
Have a Good and Sweet
Shabbos,
Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen
(See below)
Related Comments:
1. We should not
underestimate the spiritual
power of stories, for the
Torah begins with stories.
Within the Torah is the Book
of Exodus, and this book
also begins with stories.
2. For information on the
Anah Dodi Haggadah with the
commentary of Rav Dovid
Feinstein, visit:
www.artscroll.com