THE REBBITZIN - part 3

Her eyes were open– she observed events and derived lessons from them. In fact she knew scores of Hashgocha Protis and Schar V’onesh stories (stories of G-d’s providential care and of the reward or punishment that He metes out in accordance with one’s deeds) which were taken from the life around her, often involving people known personally to her or to close family members. She thus attained a deep and abiding awareness of the principles of Emunoh, living her life with Emunoh Pshutoh and Bitochon (faith and trust in Hashem). She attained high levels of Yiras Shomayim, of Histapkus, of Anovoh-Tznius-Derech Eretz and Beishonus, (self effacement and modesty, humility and genuine respect for others), which went hand in hand with untiring “zrizus” (efficiency, alacrity). Her Tfilla was an inspiration to all, as was her love of Chessed. Her Kovod Hatorah was exceptional if not unique. She had a profound love and respect for the Torah itself and for all Lomdei Torah-older ones and even those who were still quite young. [As soon as a boy started learning G’moro he was considered in a different category, a higher level to be treated with the respect due to Torah.]

Above all the rebbitzin was an Eishes Chover (“wife of a Talmid Chochom”) in the fullest sense of the word - internally, in outlook and attitude; and externally on a practical level. She helped her great husband and took care of his needs with an untiring devotion that was described by her grandchildren as “M’siras Nefesh Mammish”! (Total Self Sacrifice!)

She guarded his health zealously. [This writer was present when the Rosh Yeshiva tried to squeeze in an appointment with a visiting Rosh Yeshiva while he was eating breakfast. The Rebbitzin was so anguished by the thought of his not eating calmly (discussions could very well be about serious concerns) that the Rosh Yeshiva immediately dropped the idea.]

She guarded his time with the utmost concern - time which she knew would be spent to the second in Torah. Just as a small example: She would often dial the phone for the Rosh Yeshiva, bring over the handset to the table where he was learning and then remain attuned to the conversation so that when he finished speaking, she would be there to take the handset and hang it up again. In all the later years she regularly gave up Shabbosos with her husband in order to allow him to stay with talmidim in Lakewood even though she could not leave their Brooklyn apartment to be with him. In short her entire being was consecrated to her mission of Eizer K’negdo (helpmate to her husband).

It of course goes without saying that the Rosh Yeshiva would never deprive anyone of their due, all the more so his Rebbitzin who he always treated with the utmost care (and eating with one’s wife for the Leil Shabbos meal is in fact her right). He accepted her self-sacrifice however because he knew full well the depth of his Rebbitzin’s personal level of Ahavas Torah. He knew how much she rejoiced in every moment that Torah was being studied and every bit of Torah that was disseminated - all the more so did she rejoice in her husband’s Torah study and her husband’s Harbotzas Torah which was his mission and which she thus viewed as her mission in life. The Rebbitzin was an “Eishes Chaver” par- excellence! [In all this she had a wonderful role model in the person of her great mother, the wife of Reb Isser Zalman Meltzer – who, as the rebbitzin often told this writer, would be “ready to cut out a chunk of flesh from her own hand” if it meant allowing her husband to learn for an extra minute]

But, as with all great Tzadikim, the Rebbitzin o.h. achieved everything she did and attained her great level only because she was an eager “talmidoh” who learned from and was inspired by her very great teachers. She was a ship, if you will, travelling on a wonderful and sacred ocean. Thus, through viewing the perfection of the “ship”; through viewing the way she conducted her home, dealt with others, dealt with children and grandchildren- one can gain a better and more insightful perception of the Yam itself.

And again, from Mishnas Rav Aharon:

“One must first correct his ‘Daas’ - his outlook and attitudes - [as the Possuk says:] “ Da Elokei Ovicho - Know the G-d of your fathers and serve Him willingly and wholeheartedly (Divrei Hayomim I, 28:9). [And, as it says:] “Know today and repeatedly ponder that G-d is G-d...” (Dvorim 4:29). All this refers to proper thoughts and attitudes.

“Our views and attitudes are distorted. As children “good” means to us whatever tastes sweet. As we grow older we follow the attitudes of the masses who define good and bad in terms of wealth and honor. This is all false and is the opposite of the Torah view. The only true good is that which fulfills the purpose for which one was created. The rest is empty and useless and inevitably leads to pain. This is taught clearly in Tanach and Chazal and is also known to anyone with experience.”

“Serving Hashem however brings happiness and pleasure [as the posuk says:] “Ohr zoruah l’tzadik u’lyishrei leiv simcha” - “light” is sown for the “tzaddik” (see vol. I page 162 -First ed.- for some discussion of the concept of “light”) and for the upright of heart (implying clear, straightforward thinking and feeling) there is happiness. [Tehillim 97] All the material good in this world is only good if it helps one to achieve his purpose in life [which is] to toil in Torah and to serve Hashem with happiness and tranquility.” (Vol II p. 136)

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