Savlonus and Vatronus are very important, but they are not enough; there must be the positive too. Concern, consideration a thoughtful deed . . . Rav Chaim Reisman [shlita](zt'l) a Talmid Muvhok of the Rosh Yeshiva (Reb Chaim is the founder of the famed Boro Park “Mishnas Reb Aharon Chaburah”) and a repository of many of his stories, sayings and hanhogos, loves to tell - and told this writer, the following beautiful story:

Reb Chaim was going to Lakewood with his wife and was taking the Rosh Yeshiva with him. They had already started up the car (and according to Rebbitzin Reisman tichyeh, they had even begun driving) when the Rosh Yeshiva said “excuse me but I must go back upstairs, I forgot something.” Reb Chaim responded that it’s not necessary for the Rosh Yeshiva to go through the effort, he (Reb Chaim) can go upstairs and take whatever was forgotten. The Rosh Yeshiva said no, he must go up himself. The Rosh Yeshiva and Reb Chaim got out of the car, went into the house, up the elevator, into the apartment and then into the kitchen. The rebbitzin was there, standing at the counter. The Rosh Yeshiva walked over, said “ah gutten tug” (have a good day) turned around and left.

Reb Chaim says he will never forget the smile on the rebbitizin’s face when she realized what happened. She literally beamed with happiness over the Rosh Yeshiva’s gesture! (As Reb Chaim points out, The Rosh Yeshiva was an older man and walking was tiring for him; additionally he was always extremely pressed for time - he could have easily waited until they got to Lakewood and then called her up. But there were no excuses or substitutes for thoughtfulness and consideration.)

Years later, long after the Rosh Yeshiva’s passing, Reb Chaim met the Rebbitzin walking in the street with her daughter, Rebbitzin Sarah Schwartzman aleihem hashalom. Reb Chaim walked over, started talking and then brought up this incident. Reb Chaim says he is sorry he mentioned it. The rebbitzin remembered the story immediately and undoubtedly it fit in with her general memory of her husband - she cried bitterly for a long time. Such is the power of a good word . . .

This was a way of life: The Rosh Yeshiva was extremely busy and always under tremendous pressure. There was crisis after crisis in Klal Yisroel and everything was put on his doorstep for decision and for action. Above all there was Torah to be studied, shiurim to prepare - There was no such thing as “plenty of time”. In short, The Rosh Yeshiva’s home was always a center of action and yet, say the Einiklach, they never felt tension or pressure. The Rosh Yeshiva always had a warm smile and a good word for them - for everyone - generating warmth and happiness. He took an interest, asked about their schoolwork, counseled and advised. Everything was done quickly; spoken briefly; yet it was always with his full attention and concern, and it made an impact.

Reb Malkiel Kotler remembers receiving blessings from the Rosh Yeshiva. The Rosh Yeshiva’s daughter-in-law mentioned to this writer how, when a visitor asked the Rosh Yeshiva who she (his daughter-in-law) is, the Rosh Yeshiva said with a smile . . oh, she’s my daughter. If she was tired and walked by the Rosh Yeshiva, the Rosh Yeshiva would right away comment “bist farmattert”, you are tired and must take care of your health. She never failed to be amazed. How did the Rosh Yeshiva know? He wasn’t even looking at her. Yet he was correct every time and she felt very good about his concern.

Yes Sholom requires concern, consideration, thoughtful acts and words.